[Man is being examined in court.]
Prosecution – And did you drop the fillet of fish, which my client ate, on the floor of your dirty unhygenic kitchen?
Defence – Objection! The state of my client’s restaurant kitchen has not been proved.
Prosecution – My client got food poisoning. I’d say it’s pretty clear!
Judge – That is to be determined. The court will strike the words dirty and unhygenic from the record. Proceed.
Prosecution – Did you drop the fillet of fish, on the floor of your restaurant kitchen?
Man – … I did.
Prosecution – And what did you do *after* you dropped the fillet of fish on the kitchen floor?
Man – I picked it up and brushed it off.
Prosecution – And did you serve it to my client?
Man – I did.
Prosecution – No further questions.
[Defence jumps up]
Defence – Would you mind telling the court exactly how long the fillet of fish was on the floor of your kitchen?
Man – Um…
Defence – Was it say, less than 10 seconds?
Man – Well, yes-
Defence – Ten second rule!
Prosecution – Objection! The-
Judge – Overruled. This case is closed.
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[2 police officers are interviewing a woman.]
Woman – Just down there, yeah.
PO1 – And what happened next?
Woman – Well, he snatched my handbag and ran down that road.
PO1 – I see. And did he say “yoink” when he did it?
Woman – Did he what?
PO1 – Did he say “yoink”? Did you hear him say “yoink”?
Woman – Well, yes. Now you mention it…
PO1 – Then it wasn’t theft I’m afraid. Thank you for you time.
[Both policemen return to their car.]
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This pledge is open to all and sundry – not just Cambridge Alumni and Students. We’re looking for a little justice here, and to honour a great man.
Currently the only memorial to Alan Turing in Cambridge is a black and white photograph in a basement. Turing’s hugely important work in computer science has gone largely under-recognised. He also had a crucial role in winning the war for the Allies, which lent his subsequent arrest and persecution for homosexuality, (which led to suicide) a very bitter irony.
If you haven’t joined the facebook group, do it now for updates and information about the progress we’ve made so far: here
There is currently a campaign for Turing to be pardoned. Our campaign (unaffiliated with that) would be to challenge the university to match funding pledged by students to put up a small bust of Turing with a plaque commemorating his life and achievements.
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