http://www.barryscottisreal.com original comedy - sketches, songs, and the odd short film Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:48:45 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/07/23/films-that-should-have-been-greenlighted-3/ An instructional videogram, offering detailed insight into this fascinating ceremony, still performed in some parts of the world even today. http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/26/the-british-tea-ceremony/ A park scene, with a few trees. We hear the twittering of birds. Nothing much happens for about 20 seconds. The camera slowly pans upwards, until we see 5 or 6 park wardens crouched in the tree squeaking dog toys to make the twittering. http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/22/twittering/ http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/20/one-wont-be-gone-for-long/ [Another annoucement outside the saucer. The speakers crackle, and the alien speaker clears his throat.] [Cut to destitute survivors sitting around their radios.] Annoucement - Attention people of Earth! We shall leave this planet in peace, as soon as the secret of your instant penis enlargement immediate satisfaction guaranteed is revealed to ... http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/17/invasion-5/ [Sun rises over the saucer.] [Cut to inside the saucer, both aliens are getting up.] Alien 1 - How long have we been on this godforsaken rock? Alien 2 - I know not. Alien 1 - What are you collecting from the portal? Alien 2 - More bloody junk mail. [Cut to outside the saucer. An ... http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/16/invasion-4/ [View outside the saucer. The park is scarred and burnt. One man, in a suit, approaches the saucer.] [Cut to inside the saucer.] Alien 2 - Their emissary approaches. Alien 1 - Open the portal. [Door opens.] Jehova's Witness - Ah. Hello! I say, you're not- Well! Um- Have you got a moment to talk ... http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/15/invasion-3/ Alien 1 - Attack this planet! [Cut to outside saucer, saucer arms and fires missiles.] [Cut to a train station. Explosions are visible and audible all around the station. The station announcer speaks with a slick female voice.] Station Announcer - Due to unexpected invasion works over the weekend and destruction of the ... http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/14/invasion-2/ [A saucer lands in Hyde Park. Cut to inside the saucer. The aliens speak in a thick accent.] Alien 1 - Signal for their surrender! [Cut to outside saucer, detail of speakers. Speakers make incomprehensible announcement. Nobody takes any notice.] http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/14/invasion-1/ http://www.barryscottisreal.com/index.php/2008/05/10/they-come-as-a-pair/