Barry Scott is Real

Unseen Movie Concept Art

josh — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 08:40:08 +0000

hygene

lewis — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:01:26 +0000

[Man is being examined in court.]

Prosecution – And did you drop the fillet of fish, which my client ate, on the floor of your dirty unhygenic kitchen?

Defence – Objection! The state of my client’s restaurant kitchen has not been proved.

Prosecution – My client got food poisoning. I’d say it’s pretty clear!

Judge – That is to be determined. The court will strike the words dirty and unhygenic from the record. Proceed.

Prosecution – Did you drop the fillet of fish, on the floor of your restaurant kitchen?

Man – … I did.

Prosecution – And what did you do *after* you dropped the fillet of fish on the kitchen floor?

Man – I picked it up and brushed it off.

Prosecution – And did you serve it to my client?

Man – I did.

Prosecution – No further questions.

[Defence jumps up]

Defence – Would you mind telling the court exactly how long the fillet of fish was on the floor of your kitchen?

Man – Um…

Defence – Was it say, less than 10 seconds?

Man – Well, yes-

Defence – Ten second rule!

Prosecution – Objection! The-

Judge – Overruled. This case is closed.

theft

lewis — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:00:55 +0000

[2 police officers are interviewing a woman.]

Woman – Just down there, yeah.

PO1 – And what happened next?

Woman – Well, he snatched my handbag and ran down that road.

PO1 – I see. And did he say “yoink” when he did it?

Woman – Did he what?

PO1 – Did he say “yoink”? Did you hear him say “yoink”?

Woman – Well, yes. Now you mention it…

PO1 – Then it wasn’t theft I’m afraid. Thank you for you time.

[Both policemen return to their car.]

Just askin’

josh — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:30:17 +0000

Cheaper and absolutely fair…

josh — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:43:54 +0000

was not 42 after all

lewis — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 02:06:23 +0000

magic 8 ball knows the answer to the question on your mind

Cross with Ken

josh — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:15:37 +0000

the zone has a new king

lewis — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:00:17 +0000

baby dawkins - richard in your pocket, outselling barbie 10:1

it’s coming and there’s nothing we can do

lewis — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:15:55 +0000

new traffic safety measures designed to discourage casual crossings are being trialled in Camden

it was too political, I have fixed it for you…

lewis — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:48:53 +0000

the Queen's peach