original comedy – sketches, songs, and the odd short film
An instructional videogram, offering detailed insight into this fascinating ceremony, still performed in some parts of the world even today.
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A park scene, with a few trees. We hear the twittering of birds. Nothing much happens for about 20 seconds.
The camera slowly pans upwards, until we see 5 or 6 park wardens crouched in the tree squeaking dog toys to make the twittering.
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[Another annoucement outside the saucer. The speakers crackle, and the alien speaker clears his throat.]
[Cut to destitute survivors sitting around their radios.]
Annoucement – Attention people of Earth! We shall leave this planet in peace, as soon as the secret of your instant penis enlargement immediate satisfaction guaranteed is revealed to us!
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[Sun rises over the saucer.]
[Cut to inside the saucer, both aliens are getting up.]
Alien 1 – How long have we been on this godforsaken rock?
Alien 2 – I know not.
Alien 1 – What are you collecting from the portal?
Alien 2 – More bloody junk mail.
[Cut to outside the saucer. An attachment to the saucer takes [...]
[View outside the saucer. The park is scarred and burnt. One man, in a suit, approaches the saucer.]
[Cut to inside the saucer.]
Alien 2 – Their emissary approaches.
Alien 1 – Open the portal.
[Door opens.]
Jehova’s Witness – Ah. Hello! I say, you’re not- Well! Um- Have you got a moment to talk about Jesus?
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Alien 1 – Attack this planet!
[Cut to outside saucer, saucer arms and fires missiles.]
[Cut to a train station. Explosions are visible and audible all around the station. The station announcer speaks with a slick female voice.]
Station Announcer – Due to unexpected invasion works over the weekend and destruction of the line, all services are temporarily [...]
[A saucer lands in Hyde Park. Cut to inside the saucer. The aliens speak in a thick accent.]
Alien 1 – Signal for their surrender!
[Cut to outside saucer, detail of speakers. Speakers make incomprehensible announcement. Nobody takes any notice.]
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Share and Enjoy:
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